A Greater Love

I remember the first time I met this wonderful couple. They were both warm, and welcoming, and overflowing with the love of Jesus. As I sat under their teaching, I discovered something very refreshing… they were open, honest, real about their life journey. They didn’t present themselves as more mature in the faith (which they were) but simply taught truth from God’s word. This encounter would impact my life to this day.

The husband was a tall, rugged cowboy who wore a cowboy hat and of course he had his boots on. His hands revealed he had worked hard all his life and his back pain was a result of tending cattle in New Mexico. The husband and wife adored, cherished, and loved each other with the greatest love. If you saw one, you saw the other often gazing into the others eyes.

I used to literally sit on the edge of my seat as they would share their story. They met and married in their mid 30s. They never had a date. They simply confirmed their love and marriage plans while checking wells in the oil fields of New Mexico.

He had recently asked Jesus to be his Lord and Savior. In order to deepen his knowledge of the Bible, and his relationship with Jesus, he determined to read the Bible regularly. Despite the fact he could barely read, he persevered. By a campfire, under star lit nights, he started to grow. The wife in contrast had her master’s degree. She was (and is) a gifted teacher who was (and is) not driven by emotions but by Truth. Together, they were amazing!

As I would observe, ponder, contemplate this most incredible and authentic couple, I saw more clearly that their Christian walk and life were by no means ordinary but exceptional and extraordinary. There was a thread that knit these two hearts. His name is Jesus. He was (and is for the wife) their life. They were dedicated to Him with every fiber of their being. As their story unfolded, it was revealed the loyalty and devotion they had for each other.

Not long into their marriage, a stronghold surfaced its ugly head. The husband had a sexual stronghold. He hated the thoughts and desires he had. He honestly thought he would only be free of this bondage when he died. So they did the next plausible thing and that was to hide. So that’s exactly what they did. The husband, having excellent carpentry skills converted an old school bus into a home. This setting would become their home for eight years. They drove that bus down a canyon in New Mexico. He ingeniously built a windmill, mostly out of surrounding trees so water in the area could be brought up from his hand dug well. Apart from trapping so they could earn enough money to buy the few necessities they needed, they studied the Word of God. When they needed coffee or sugar, etc. they drove their truck 10 miles to obtain these things. To get the mail, they rode their horses 3 miles.

Hope came when they were sent some tapes that a pastor shared about how Jesus could break strongholds. Together for 18 hours they listened, prayed and continued on to find freedom for both, but particularly for the husband. The enemy, Satan, didn’t like this hold broken so there were challenges ahead for this freedom. However they stood together looking to the Lord Jesus and He was, as always, faithful. This husband came to true freedom, whereby the lustful thoughts and desires came to be a thing of the past. In fact, he became one of the most honorable men I have ever known. His wife could have been an accuser, a condemner, she could have pulled away, separated from him or even divorced him. However, she saw his need together and went before the Lord together to find the answer to his struggle. He felt safe and secure to open up and share his victories and defeats because he knew with certainty that she was standing by him and with him every step of the way.

As a couple they ministered to many, many people. My husband and I are among those numbers. He particularly had an impact for men who were defeated and battle weary. I remember one time he made a profound statement. He said, “You have to love the Lord (Jesus) more than you love your sin.” I believe that is the first step. However, the freedom comes through Jesus, not our own efforts. He alone is the bondage breaker.

He reached out to many with the love of Jesus. He, along with his devoted wife, pointed people to Jesus who not only knew their struggle but still loved them, could set them free. This included the accomplished, the rich, the poor, and the undistinguished people. Since it is truly level at the cross, he met each one with the greatest acceptance while pointing upward to Jesus. They continued ministering as a couple until one day he went out on their farm to get his bailer ready to help another farmer with his field. When the wife rang the bell to notify him that breakfast was ready, there was no response. When she went to look for him, she found him lying on the ground. He had gone to be with Jesus because his physical heart had given out. He was already in the presence of Jesus. Oh, what a glorious day for him but a tremendous loss for the wife.

Soon thereafter the Lord gave her a verse that would serve her to this day. He brought to mind the verse, “Do not recall the former things, (Isaiah 43:18). At first glance this might seem cold and uncaring. However, it was just the opposite. The wife couldn’t stay at the point that the grief would consume her. There were people who needed to be taught. There were lives to invest in. So, she continued on and still teaches despite the Parkinson/Lymphedema that brings her pain and great fatigue.

The same commitment of offering truth, hope, and love that she gave to her husband, she offers to those she teaches. She points to Jesus, and she witnesses the changes He alone can make.

I have learned (and am still learning) that we need to stand with people who are struggling. We need to offer encouragement and hope. Most importantly, we need to offer them truth which comes only from the word of God. We should not put a person down, shut them out or close the door of our relationship. We need to see people as Jesus saw (and sees) people. He loved (and loves) them to truth because He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6). Although it may well be in a different area, Jesus is in the process of conforming and transforming us as well. None of us has arrived or has an edge on maturity. The Lord Jesus does the work, not we ourselves.

We see the heart of Jesus in a very impacting scene in the Bible. Jesus walked up to a group of men who have each picked up a stone. In fact, their arms are raised as they are ready to throw them at a woman who was caught in the very act of adultery. Jesus interrupts this scene by starting to write some words on the ground. Surely, they may have thought “what is He writing?” Curiosity got the best of them and each one glanced down to the words He had written. Oh no! one might have thought. How could He have known my secret sin? Perhaps another thought, “this is too convicting, I’m out of here”. One by one, each man dropped his stone and slipped away. Jesus did an amazing thing- truly amazing! He turned their attention from the woman’s sin to their own. Then Jesus looked straight into her eyes and asked a question- “where are your accusers?” “gone” she replied. Then He dealt with her in a loving manner… “go and sin no more.”

Far too often we are shredding and injuring people with our words. Is this what Jesus did? Did He run in with a big stick and start beating on them? No! He just spoke truth. That teaches us that we need to put down our stones. We need to focus on our sins. We need to speak truth when there is a need because candy coating sin won’t help a person either. But out heart should be humble because it could have been us waiting for the stones to be hurled. Do you have the love of Jesus for people regarding their failings?

My precious and beloved friend has taught me a failing does not make one a failure. In thus modern world of viewing everything from milk jugs to marriage or friendships as disposable, she stands against the philosophy of the culture and says you are valuable. I’ll stand with you. You have worth! Sure, you had a failing, a sin (even a big sin). Absolutely, you have an area, a stronghold but then she points upward to Jesus and says, “Jesus can set you free!” Jesus can and will give you the strength for this situation and circumstance if you will only choose to accept His forgiveness, He has the power to break chains that have held you so tightly. You can bring the secret sins into the light which dispels the darkness. There is no condemnation.

I have seen in the 19 years of being with my beloved friend that learning to love like Jesus is to love a person to truth, to love a person with truth, to love a person by speaking truth. If they choose not to hear you, choose not to listen, to walk away or out of your life totally, you still leave a sign in the window announcing, “Welcome Back!”. Perhaps when you see them making their way back after hitting rock bottom, you find yourself running to them with arms opened wide. That is how the wayward son was received in Luke 15:11-32.

This concept and aspect of love will rub against the grain. If your background includes living by legalistic rules/regulations, there may not be an openness to stretching outside the box. Their sin is the only thing you see. However, what you don’t see is how they got to this point and recognizing growth comes at different paces for different people. Could we be an encourager rather than a discourager in their process of growth? Wouldn’t we hope for the same for ourselves? Too many people carry around their hurts, failures, and sufferings because they are too fearful, too timid to lay it out there. Perhaps, like putting one toe in the ocean shoreline, they have shared an itty-bitty part just to be preached at condemned, ridiculed. They learned something alright- I will NEVER EVER share again!

- Do you give grace and speak truth from the word of God to that person(s) who is failing and struggling?

- If they don’t receive that Biblically based truth, do you dispose of them in the dumpster located out back of your home or the closet reserved for times like this?

- Do you have a sign on the front door of your heart saying, “welcome back”? Maybe you also have a sign on the back door because that is the door used for family. And they are family if they have trusted Jesus Christ alone to go to heaven. They are our Brothers and Sisters.

- Do you run to them when you see them moving toward truth because you’re so excited to see answered prayers unfolding before your eyes?

- Do you consider your sins, your failings in dealing with this person?

- Do you understand stones can be used in the construction of a home or the destruction of a life. It’s your choice, isn’t it?

These questions are meant (and needed) by me also! Since they are needed, I want to keep them before me all my days. It takes courage to confront in love, but it is important. You may have thought, what if they don’t see the “welcome back” sign? No worries, the light is burning brightly in the window, they will know.

As with all issues of One By Faith, it is my honor to reach out to you. May it be used for the glory of God!! That is my hope and prayer!

Blessings!