Forgiveness

There once was a teenage boy who had it made in life! He was the favorite of his father, along with his younger brother. He had many half-brothers but their relationships were strained because the brothers were jealous of all the singling out that was given to this young man. To make matters worse, he bragged that his brothers would someday be subservient to him. That was just too much! Did he really think it was okay to say they would be servants to him? This made their blood boil! They just wanted him out of their lives. They’d had enough of his boasting, so they contrived and enacted a plan. They had him sent to another country, without his consent and without his father’s agreement. There he began living his life in a new culture. When he arrived in this new land, he began working under a very wealthy man. The Lord gave him favor with the man and he was soon running his businesses. Everything was going well until one day the employer’s wife tried to entice him. He realized he was far from home, but he knew he was not out of the sight of his God. He emphatically refused to participate in her desire for pleasure and sexual gratification. In fact, he said "no" to her and left. The wife, however, took the refusal as a slap in the face, so she lied to her husband about how things had actually happened. The young man was put in prison… for a crime he did not commit. There Joesph met a fellow prisoner who had been incarcerated also. That fellow prisoner promised that he would help Joseph to be set free once he was released. That hope was dashed, however, when he realized his co-prisoner had completely forgotten about him when he was reinstalled in his previous position. Although Joseph finally got out of prison, he could not erase the hurt, pain, and loss caused by what he had been through. He couldn’t bring back all of the years that had slipped through his fingers. He couldn’t turn back the clock and relive the times he missed out on with his father and younger brother. He couldn’t undo the accusations of his employer’s wife. It had been his word against her word and he had lost. He couldn’t go back to a time of ease or favor with a parent who had one doted on him. He couldn’t go back at all.

This is a true story. It is found in the Bible in Genesis 37-47. It is the story of Joseph. There is only one thing that kept him going; kept him from caving into sin; kept him from plummeting into deep despair and depression. At this point it would have been easy to give up on life. There are so many truths to learn from the story of Joseph. The one that impacts my life the most is the realization of what forgiveness is and what it is not.

When Joseph was released from prison, he was given the position of being second in command under the Pharaoh of Egypt. The Lord God had give Joesph the interpretation of Pharaoh’s dream. Joseph told Pharaoh that the God had shown him that there would be 7 years of plenty followed by 7 years of famine. He had wisdom from God to advise Pharaoh to store an abundance of grain so they would be ready for the coming time of a great lack of food. In fact, they had so much grain, they were able to make money by selling it to others outside the country who heard there was food available in Egypt. Joseph’s family was among those who got the word. Those very brothers, who had put into motion the agony and hardships Joseph had experienced, made their way to Egypt to buy grain from Joseph. The only thing was...they didn’t recognize him. He had not only grown up, but being submerged in the Egyptian culture, he now dressed and talked like an Egyptian. In addition to this, he was in a high position in the Egyptian government. The reality of that surely never crossed their minds as a possibility. His disguise or cover up had an advantage. He could observe and discern the true picture of where the brothers were at this point in their lives. Although they had no idea that he could understand what they were saying, he overheard their conversations which told him something important. They were not the same brothers; they had changed. They connected the hard times they were now having with their sin of selling their brother Joseph years before. They thought he was dead. They were willing to lay down their lives in exchange for the younger brother, Benjamin, to be spared. They were obviously transformed men. Still, Joseph had to live with the fact that their sinful actions would impact him every minute of every day for the rest of his life. It became clear that Joseph saw a bigger picture. He perceived that this painful journey was necessary for him to go through, to go from a favored son to a high power super leader. It was in that position only that Joseph was able to spare his entire family and the Egyptians from starvation. He was also transformed in other ways during this painful process. He no longer bragged on earthly things, but had become a man pointing to God. Joseph truly understood forgiveness. In the same way, we too must learn what forgiveness encompasses. This post will hopefully give you more understanding and a deeper grasp of what forgiveness really means.

1. Forgiveness is a command. God requires each of us to forgive. It is something we can and must do. He will provide the strength and grace to do it.

2. Forgiveness is a choice. Until we let go of our anger and hatred, a person is still hurting us.

3. Forgiveness is not forgetting. We should not put off forgiving those who have hurt us, hoping the pain will one day go away. We must CHOOSE to forgive them and then Jesus can come and begin to heal us of our hurts. But healing cannot begin until we first forgive.

4. We forgive others for OUR sake, so that we can be free of bitterness and unforgiveness. “Bitterness”, as one person said, “destroys the container (us) that holds it.”

5. The person who hurts us may never ask for forgiveness, either before we forgive them, or at all. They just may never do so! Remember, Jesus did not wait for those who were crucifying Him to ask forgiveness before He forgave them.

6. Forgiveness must be from the heart, even if we do not "feel" it. Our feelings may take time to catch up with our emotional or mental decisions to forgive.

7. Forgiveness...we are going to live with the consequences of another person’s sin. The only choice we have is whether or not we will live in the bondage of bitterness or the freedom of forgiveness. We need to remember that Jesus took the eternal consequences of our, and all of our sin, upon Himself (2 Corinthians 5:21). What He is requiring of us is to live with the temporary consequences of other’s sins. That is simply a harsh reality that all of us must face in life.

8. Forgiveness means not holding one's sins against another person any longer.

Forgiveness means we should not bring up past hurts in the future. God does not bring up our past sins to us. In fact, when we come to know Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, our sins (past, present and future) are cast as far as the East is from the West. He didn’t stop at the time we originally came to the cross. His forgiveness goes throughout our lives.In some cases, it's an ongoing and continuous decision to forgive over and over. It is not just a one time choice to forgive others for hurts and wounds, it's a matter of forgiving over and over for new hurts especially when we're presently stuck in a position that we have to deal with that person over and over. This does not mean we allow ourselves to be abused whether verbally, physically, emotionally, etc. There are times we need to remove ourselves for our own safety or the safety of our children. That is a different case. This would be an exception to what is being shared.

Forgiveness is clearly laid out in Matthew 18:21-35. It speaks of a king who wanted to settle his accounts. His servant owed 10,000 talents: to put this in perspective, this would be 10,000 days of wages. Since he could not pay this amount, his Lord commanded him to be sold, along with his wife, his children and all that he had, so repayment could be made. One thing is for sure, you can’t pay your debt if you and your family are locked up! This prison would be a miserable and horrific experience. The slave fell to the ground and prostrated himself crying out, “Have patience with me and I will repay you everything.” The Lord of that slave felt compassion and released him and forgave his debt.

Wouldn’t you think he would have gone out and found someone, anyone, who owed him money and gladly, thankfully, and joyfully forgive the debt that person owed him? Well, he should have, but he didn’t! When he went out from his Lord who had cancelled his debt, he saw a fellow slave and grabbed him by the throat. He said, “Pay me all you owe me”. There he stood face to face with someone who owed him much less than he had owed the king and yet he demanded full repayment! There was no compassion.

We can look at that man, who has been forgiven a great debt; was spared a great debt; and was shown great mercy and compassion. We can shake our heads, wag our finger, and point at him and say, “Shame, shame on you!”. However, there would be a question we would have to ask ourselves: "Are we like this man?" We might respond with an empathetic "no". But are we in reality like this man when it comes down to the issues of life, the issue of forgiving.

We had a great, great sin debt. That includes every single one of us! We must understand that Jesus, as God, came to this earth to take on humanness for the ultimate purpose of dying on the cross for our sins. When we come to the momentous and life-changing decision to trust in Jesus, our lives are transformed. Wouldn’t you think that you and I should go out after being released from the largest debt ever accumulated was paid in full, forgive the smaller (yet larger) debt by comparison to our debts that were done against us.

Our forgiveness of others is the greatest reflection of the mighty work of redemption. We don’t deserve the forgiveness! We deserved the punishment and the suffering! Our sins are not held against us any longer and they are not brought up ever again.

Shouldn't you and I be willing to ask the Lord to show us where we are harboring unforgiveness? Then the Holy Spirit will search our hearts as a sweeping lighthouse’s light beam sweeps across the dark ocean. For you, for me, when He shows us, may we bow our heads in true sincerity and humility. May we pray a prayer like this:

Father, I forgive ____ for _____. It made me feel ______. I now ask you to bless them.

If that person has died, we can ask that He would bless their memory.

It is not a spiritual guilt trip or an emotional high time, it’s an simply an act of obedience. What he has commanded us to do...He will give us strength to do. It doesn’t minimize the enormity of the sin against us or someone we love. It simply means that it isn't my place to hold onto that offense. Are we in the place of God? God forbid we should ever think so! Release your unforgiveness to the One who is waiting.

I have shared about forgiveness because learning these truths have been and continues to be freeing! My prayer is you will embrace (as I continue to need) what had been presented in the Word of God, the Bible. May forgiveness be our mode of living and our constant companion! May you know God’s forgiveness in the message of the cross and in your daily living in this world where we face hurtful and wounding situations. Still, whose place is —only God’s!

Blessings to you dear fellow journeyman!!

** Points regarding forgiveness are quoted, with permission, from material written by Neil T. Anderso and, revised by Peg McCabe.