Religion Versus Relationship

Many, many years ago, there was a little girl about eight years old. She used to get up on Sunday mornings and put on one of the two church dresses she called her own. Quietly, while her parents slept, she slipped down the hall in front of their bedroom. She tip toed until she reached the post where her father hung his work pants. She reached all the way down to the bottom of the pocket where she found, once again, an assortment of coins. Then ever so quietly, she went down 15 steps to the foyer- only pausing if a step in the old house creaked. Opening the door, she headed to her favorite place on Earth- church! In her hand, her fingers wrapped around the coins that she would give to the “Indian Boy”. She had no understanding that the money was for mission work, however, it was crystal clear that a little boy in a far away country would hear about Jesus simply because she had given what she could. Her wonderful older sister had taken her faithfully to church until she got married and moved from home. Her sweet and kind mother went also until she was notified that she would be taken off the membership roll of the church if she did not tithe. Since her father was of a different faith, he did not feel inclined to give. Her mother had no money of her own, so she never went back. Never!

A struggling young couple with two small children were at a low point in their marriage. The wife was weak from having two little ones back to back. The two pregnancies and births had taken a toll. Consequently, the thought of getting ready for church seemed like and in fact was an insurmountable task. One day, the doorbell rang. The wife peeked out of the glass in the door and saw her pastor. When she opened the door, he told her that he was aware that her and her family had not been in church. He then went on to say “they needed to get their life right” (with Jesus). They never went back to that church. Never!

One Sunday, a lady was greeting people she knew at church, when she spotted a couple that she had known several years earlier. A visit to their home revealed the disintegration of convictions that had occurred as the teen daughter entertained young men in her bedroom. After a quick hello from the self-righteous woman, she matter of factly asked, “What happened Greg?” (meaning how did your family go from where you were to where you are now). He didn’t answer or if he did, it was a muffled response. That lady was never contacted by that couple again. Never!

A couple in their 50s were looking for a Sunday school class. The wife happened to see one of the members who was a part of the large church and also a part of the class she was interested in. She asked if the class was open to new people, her answer took her by surprise. The unexpected response was, “not really.” That close and closed group had no desire to reach out and be inclusive. That couple never went to that class. Never!

These are sad stories that really happened to real people. They are representative of something that is causing people to leave church and never come back. Encounters with Christ followers who did not or do not show the love of Jesus have kept people from ever going to church. Ever!

As with all things, there is a balance in the Christian walk. It involves a balanced of love with truth- truth with love. In the first example depicting the story of the eight year old girl, the member of the church put money before her mother’s tender heart and the limitations her mother lived with. Since all the money was controlled by her husband, she did not have a choice but to bow out of church as quietly as possible. That leader of financial affairs never took the time to see or understand the bigger picture, the true picture. This was impacting to the little girl because she sat all alone- all by herself. As she looked around the church, she couldn’t help but notice that families were sitting together. She wished her Mom and Dad could be there also, but that would never occur- never ever.

In the second example, that pastor simply noticed the pew where they would sit was vacant. He never took the time to find out how they really were. Were they struggling? Was there illness? Had discouragement, depression or disillusment impacted their lives? The pastor’s approach was matter of fact, seemingly without sympathy and concern. What a shame that they never went back. They truly needed love and support mingled with truth.

In the third example, the lady asked her question about the decline of the couple’s home in a matter of fact way. What a different it would have made to show the love of Jesus. Whether the change came from a one time incident or a series of events, we’ll never know. What we can surmise and know with certainty is they were discouraged not encouraged by what was said. They had feelings of hopelessness, failure, regret. In fact, they surely would go back to sweeter days if they could but they couldn’t. In fact, none of us can ever really go back. Time has a way of changing things- changing us. However, as an act of our will, we can move forward. God will use the losses, pain, hurt, and betrayals for good, even if it is not good in and of itself. It is important to remember that people can make bad choices (just like you and I have). Sometimes it is a series of events, or an impacting blow. It is easy to look at them and their lives and make quick, judgmental verdicts as though we knew all the facts when in reality we do not. I have learned (and am learning) life is not that simple.

When we read the Bible, we see that the Lord Jesus was the greatest lover of people there ever was. He was always reaching out to people. He extended His love to a prostitute, a cheating tax collector, the woman who was married five times and was living with a man who was not her husband, the failing disciple Peter and the criminal on the cross. He never compromised truth- but He always saw the priceless value of each soul. After all, He was willing to lay down His life and suffer on the cross for such a one as these along with you and I. Yes, you and I who have fallen short and been faithless to a God who loves us with the greatest love there is!

One day at church, a man from a ministry that reaches out to men and women who are bound in chains, to drugs and alcohol, went to our pastor. His request was that he needed a room to meet with his people. He continued- “these people that I want to bring won’t look the same as your church people, smell the same and they might even steal someone’s purse. Your church will be shaken up”. Our pastor replied, “Maybe we need to be shaken up!” and he gave him a room to meet in.

Where we normally sit in church, I can look over and see the men and women in that ministry. They are uninhibited to express their gratefulness for meeting Jesus, accepting Him as their Lord and Savior and later being set free from the chains that had bound them. Now that is something to shout about! I think it brings a smile to our Savior’s face.

Although we may have never taken a drink or a drug, there are other chains that can hold us in bondage. For example, there is fear, which is lack of faith, or pride which is an abomination to the Lord. As my beloved mentor, Grace used to say when I was a young mother, “It is level at the cross. One person is not above another person. We are all needful- all!”.

There is a balance to all things. The balance is to be truth and love. Both are essential for there stability, steadiness, sure footing and spiritual equilibrium. Without love, truth is harsh, cruel and haughty. Without truth, love is mushy, slushy, and sentimental.

For the mother of the little eight year old girl, what if the church representative had taken the time to understand the background of why she could not give? Was it her heart not to give? No. Do you know the Lord is always looking at the heart and the intent of the heart.

Before we condemn the representative, lets ask ourselves, have there been times in our lives where we have made judgements of why someone is doing what they do. Also there is an important aspect I want to share. As my beloved brother used to say, “We don’t know what someone has gone through.” This is an impacting statement! So we observe people and their behavior and we only get a glimpse but there is so much more that we cannot see or know.

Can we purpose to show the love of Jesus while standing on God’s truth. Let’s be grace givers as we have been shown grace. Would you or I have welcomed Peter back to the group of disciples? Would you or I have given up on King David when he committed adultery, deceit and multiple murders? It doesn’t mean glossing over sin but rather understanding that repentance is a beautiful thing. Forgiveness is the message of the cross. If OUR sins were shown on a giant screen, we would be shamed to the fullest extent. Yet, a God who knows all things, forgave all our sins when we accepted the work of the cross. Yes Jesus paid it all. The debt was cancelled. Can we make a determination to be pointers to Jesus- not becoming road blocks and orange cones along the way, but rather we should have one hand pointing up toward heaven and the other reaching out to embrace. It could make a difference to the one who is not attending church and or to the one who is contemplating leaving. It could make a difference to the one silently struggling, overwhelmed by life, feeling lost and discouraged. We never really know the full impact, but we can be assured these people are all around us and are just waiting for someone to care and reach out. I know I have missed the mark in regard to this- even recently. Perhaps you have also. But could we try to purpose in our hearts to try to be encouragers?

With gratefulness for your investment of time to read “One by Faith”. Blessings!