Security

A 14-year-old girl could not know that the gurgling sound she heard was called the death rattle. But, she instinctively knew the end was near. She found her own breathing to be shallow and slower. Then, there was silence in the bedroom next door. Someone, probably her brother, was going down the stairs. She finally went to sleep, so very exhausted. It was like she had expended a tremendous amount of energy, but she knew she hadn't.

In the morning she checked her parent’s room. First she looked at the bed where her father had lain for so many months. It was empty. She knew life had changed... forever. The one who provided food for her mom, her brother and herself was no longer there. Since her mom couldn’t drive and was a homemaker, which was common in the 60's, deep in her heart were many questions: will we be okay; where’s the money going to come from; how will I get to the places I need to go, etc.

After her father died, she started working in her family’s store. It was a small grocery store where she joined other members of the family to try to make a profitable income. There was never an abundance of money but there was always enough. She found that, at the end of the month, the needy people who lived in a complex within walking distance, would pay for their groceries with "old" money" that they had saved. After they left, she would get her purse and replace the old money with current bills. The more she collected, the more secure she felt. In an unexpected way, she felt a sense of well-being, safe keeping, shielding. The more she amassed, the more invulnerable she felt. It seemed to provide a feeling of safety, impregnability, and comfort.

Four years later, on one of the saddest days of her life, she was given some devastating news. She was told that her beloved mother had breast cancer. There was radical surgery that disfigured her and rounds of radiation that burned her. The daughter cried so hard and so long that she came to the point where there were no more tears. Then, as an unexpected source of comfort she said, “at least I have my 'old' money.” If there were ever money issues, she had something to bring them through, so she thought. Little did she know that her selfless mother had not shared, or permitted her older siblings to share, that the surgeon could not get all the cancerous cells. The cancer had been invasive and spread out. She wanted her daughter to live a life not burdened by the process of death. Five years later, on December 30th, her mother’s battle was finished. She slipped into eternity and into the presence of Jesus, only because she had trusted Jesus as her Lord and Savior. No more decline or pain. Oh, what a glorious day for her mother but what a great loss for a then 23-year-old woman who was by that time married to a wonderfully kind and loving man who cherished and adored her.

One day her beloved husband came home from work. He told her to close her eyes and hold out her hands. She was filled with anticipation and excitement. (What could he possibly have?) He then said, “open your eyes!” To her surprise, and actually shock, she found several old coins in her hands. She tried to find words of gratitude and she did. It was clear in her years of saving "old" money that she had amassed a great sum. Her insecure heart said, "if I put these coins in with my coins, it would become our coins." Not that there was a single thought of ever separating or divorcing, as he loved her with every fiber of his being & she him, as well. She had, however, seen such happen unexpectedly/unbelievably in other couples. What if it happened to her? So, she memorized the coins so she could give them back if their marriage fell apart. After all, it had brought comfort to her after her father’s death as her provider, facing the pending death of her mother, they would be her security if she was no longer married.

At age 23, a friend from high school faithfully shared (and lived out her faith) before this young woman. In God’s providential plan, they were reunited. She was taken by her friend to a Bible church. That week an evangelist said, “I was going to share something but then the Lord put a different message on my heart.” Then he proceeded to preach, and she felt like he was speaking just to her. It was like a spotlight was put on her heart. He asked a probing question, “Is there anyone here who has not trusted Jesus as Lord and Savior?” He explained that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God and that sin separates us from a holy God. Jesus died on the cross as a payment for our sins. He paid our sin debt. She was reserved by nature, but she immediately started moving toward the aisle. She walked down to the front, knelt, and gave her life to Jesus.

A few short months later, she attended a seminar whereby she could learn more of how to live out this new Christian life. At the end of one night, the speaker asked a piercing question, “Is there anything that you are trusting in rather than Jesus?” She sat back thinking, “no”. Then a thought came into her head..."your old money"! She said out loud, “Oh no, not my "old" money!” However she knew, deep in her heart, her security and trust were not fully in Jesus but rather in her chest of coins and bills. She could not change her attitude toward it. Her chest, which had been carefully and secretly hidden under their bed, was known by no one- except her life partner. As hard as it was, she made a decision to give it away. There was no way she could possess her treasure and fully trust in Jesus. Her decision was to give the entire chest to her pastor. So, on the following Sunday night, she placed in the backseat of his car, years of storing up for what might come in her life. She had felt a sense of security in something other than her Savior. It was a momentous night for this young Christian.That night her pastor called exclaiming, “Do you not know the value of all this old money?” She assured him she did but explained the history of how much it had meant, how much she had trusted in it and that her heart could not change so she chose to pass it on.

That was many, many years ago. Not one day in nearly 50 years has she regretted that decision-not once. However, in those years, she has seen over and over again, (gaining more and more reference points) that the Lord Jesus has been faithful through losses of loved ones, through illness, through hurts, through sufferings, through it all.The hymn that reads “Great is Your Faithfulness is so true. He (the Lord) is faithful morning by morning new mercies I see. All I have needed His hand has provided. Great is thy faithfulness Lord unto me.” It’s not that we can’t have money or possessions. These can be used to support and encourage the work of the Lord and help our family and friends. It's just those things can’t be our security in which we trust.It reads in 1 Samuel 17:45 that, “Some boast in chariots and some in horses but we will boast in the name of the Lord, our God.” Nothing will last apart from things of eternal value. Nothing! So, we need to ask ourselves from time to time, “Lord, am I being deceived by thinking anything or anyone other than you can be my security?” I believe He welcomes such a prayer.

I am truly thankful to the Lord to be given the opportunity to write and that you, the reader, would take the time to read what has been written. It is, as always, written from my heart. May you and I grow in our love for Jesus and others in 2023!

Blessings precious ones